I can't believe that there are only 8 days before I leave for Dubai and 12 until I come home. In many ways, I feel that I am just getting into the groove. In many ways, I am ready to move into the next phase.
The house and the Kalari are reflections of this same energy. Janet, Dagmar, Margareta and Xenia have all left. Elise is packing to go even as I type. Manuel, Gerhard and I all leave India on the 4th, and are trying to figure out how to get all the last stuff in. Sam is applying for jobs in England for the 1st time after 3 years of traveling. We are all wondering what is awaiting us as we make the journey home.
I have been thinking about what I have learned here, and in many ways I feel that the knowledge I have gained here has mostly been transmitted on an energetical level. An understanding, rather than a knowing in a scholarly way.
I have a new relationship with authenticity, especially in weakness. I feel gratitude for the many many times I have been challenged... and supported in those challenges. I am also deeply appreciative of the opportunities I have had to be still, to walk alone, to find new strength. I know I will leave some of this awareness here, and I am at peace with that.
I suppose many come to India seeking enlightenment, that is understandable, as there is so much deep, old wisdom here. In don't feel enlightened, just a little more familiar.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Saturday, February 21, 2009
Purging
The day finally arrived- Purging.
I admit to some fear and apprehension surrounding this whole process, and am happy to report that I am alive and well (mostly) today.
The day was supposed to start at 6am by drinking 20ml of castor oil, but I hardly slept the night before, so I started at 7am. I drank the oil (YUCKY!) gargled and waited. The process is to drink the oil, then half a glass of water. After that, one glass of water every 30 minutes until the purge is complete-which means 4-6 times pooping until only water comes out (I know it's not pleasant, but that's how it goes). Once that happens, you get rice water with a bit of rice at the bottom. This stops the purging so you can eat some rice and vegetables later in the afternoon. Then, if all goes well, you get to eat a regular dinner.
What happened to me was similar, but I had been cheating for the last few days & drinking milk chai. I thought it was fine, no problem, treatments going well enough, stomach feels okay, but my constitution really can't handle it, so the purge forced the stuff into my system & BAM... MIGRAINE!!! And the special bonus, BAM, MIGRAINE this morning as well.
After many massage treatments where I thought they might be taking my head completely off, we surrendered to the chemical fix of my western medicine. I had jacked up my system with the milk, and the only way out without suffering for two more days was the pills. I really appreciated that Sherifka suggested to take them, because I felt so guilty even asking. He told me that at a certain point, the pain is so taxing on the system, that it is worse to let it continue than to take the western pills.
After a half an hour rest I was like a new person. Hooray! I finally had that cleaned out and energized feeling. I now know what to expect and what to avoid and I feel how beneficial the purge was for my body. I am hooked, but glad it will be a long time before I do it again.
Later, I was even able to go to town to pick up some pants I had made (really great tailors & really inexpensive) and I even had a real dinner.
Lesson learned: listen to Sherifka, and don't drink milk!
I admit to some fear and apprehension surrounding this whole process, and am happy to report that I am alive and well (mostly) today.
The day was supposed to start at 6am by drinking 20ml of castor oil, but I hardly slept the night before, so I started at 7am. I drank the oil (YUCKY!) gargled and waited. The process is to drink the oil, then half a glass of water. After that, one glass of water every 30 minutes until the purge is complete-which means 4-6 times pooping until only water comes out (I know it's not pleasant, but that's how it goes). Once that happens, you get rice water with a bit of rice at the bottom. This stops the purging so you can eat some rice and vegetables later in the afternoon. Then, if all goes well, you get to eat a regular dinner.
What happened to me was similar, but I had been cheating for the last few days & drinking milk chai. I thought it was fine, no problem, treatments going well enough, stomach feels okay, but my constitution really can't handle it, so the purge forced the stuff into my system & BAM... MIGRAINE!!! And the special bonus, BAM, MIGRAINE this morning as well.
After many massage treatments where I thought they might be taking my head completely off, we surrendered to the chemical fix of my western medicine. I had jacked up my system with the milk, and the only way out without suffering for two more days was the pills. I really appreciated that Sherifka suggested to take them, because I felt so guilty even asking. He told me that at a certain point, the pain is so taxing on the system, that it is worse to let it continue than to take the western pills.
After a half an hour rest I was like a new person. Hooray! I finally had that cleaned out and energized feeling. I now know what to expect and what to avoid and I feel how beneficial the purge was for my body. I am hooked, but glad it will be a long time before I do it again.
Later, I was even able to go to town to pick up some pants I had made (really great tailors & really inexpensive) and I even had a real dinner.
Lesson learned: listen to Sherifka, and don't drink milk!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Wedding Bells
Oooohhhh I am so glad that Janet let me put some of her pictures on my computer! AND affter 7 attempts to post them, and an hour and a half later...I had to skip it for now.
A couple of weeks ago, Sherifka started talking about how he may have found a match for his daughter, Jafria to marry. All kinds of meetings ensued and finally, we got the word that it was in fact a match and that the wedding would be sometime in July.
As it seems to be with all things Indian, this 1st understanding proved to be incorrect. Because of the astrological charts of the involved parties, the wedding was today. The big party to celebrate the wedding will be in July. The coolest thing was that I got to go! (sort of). The bride doesn't attend the wedding, just the men go to the mosque to do the business of the marriage.
We had a bunch of food, and everyone looked so beautiful- a nice change from oil, dirt and sweat. There was a lot of chatting, and an lot of picture taking. Mostly, I really enjoyed seeing this side of an arranged marriage.
Jafria is incredibly happy and she was thrilled with the match her father made. She was excited to show us pictures of him on her laptop, and was like a schoolgirl over a gift he had given her the day before. She did get to meet him, and if she had not felt it was a good match, the marriage would not have happened. It was sweet and very different from my pre-conceived notions of arranged marriage.
It really is something to experience a new idea every day here, and I am trying to soak as much of it up as possible.
A couple of weeks ago, Sherifka started talking about how he may have found a match for his daughter, Jafria to marry. All kinds of meetings ensued and finally, we got the word that it was in fact a match and that the wedding would be sometime in July.
As it seems to be with all things Indian, this 1st understanding proved to be incorrect. Because of the astrological charts of the involved parties, the wedding was today. The big party to celebrate the wedding will be in July. The coolest thing was that I got to go! (sort of). The bride doesn't attend the wedding, just the men go to the mosque to do the business of the marriage.
We had a bunch of food, and everyone looked so beautiful- a nice change from oil, dirt and sweat. There was a lot of chatting, and an lot of picture taking. Mostly, I really enjoyed seeing this side of an arranged marriage.
Jafria is incredibly happy and she was thrilled with the match her father made. She was excited to show us pictures of him on her laptop, and was like a schoolgirl over a gift he had given her the day before. She did get to meet him, and if she had not felt it was a good match, the marriage would not have happened. It was sweet and very different from my pre-conceived notions of arranged marriage.
It really is something to experience a new idea every day here, and I am trying to soak as much of it up as possible.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Goodness, Gracious, Great Balls of Oil!
It's been a few days since I blogged, you can blame the treatment. Wow! It takes a bunch of energy & although I am inside for a big chunk of the day, I just haven't been able to even think about getting on the computer to write (well, I have thought about it, but that's as far as it's gotten...).
I wake up a little later than for practice (7am) and wash my face, feet & hands, brush teeth, take ayurvedic medicines & am ready to go. Lucky for me, it's just a few steps to the treatment room from my bedroom.
The only thing I wear during treatment is a piece of cloth hanging from (or tucked into) a string tied around my waist. This was an adjustment.
In the U.S., we're used to low lights, nice smelling oils, music & draping cloth. I am face down, up sitting or standing (that's right, standing in the altogether) on a tile floor covered by a palm-leaf mat in fluorescent lighting, right next to the kitchen, and the only music is the occasionally crackling loudspeaker from the temple across the way. This is not a spa.
I am receiving Marma treatment and Kyrie one right after the other. Jamsheer and Ramesh give me the Marma treatment massage and Annil, Somen and Adrika give me the Kyrie.
The marma treatment begins sitting. Oil is poured on the head, then rubbed in every which way (this is a real mess to comb out later). Each stroke has a specific direction and number of repetitions and they all are getting progressively more intense building to the purging day, which is Friday.
After they finish the head, I lay on my stomach and the full body work over begins. The most painful parts are the backs of my knees and my glutes. The common phrase around here is "when Ramesh gets out his thumbs..." I usually breathe deep into it, but oh my, oh my. This goes on & I flip like a pancake, back to sitting, then it finishes standing. I am learning a lot about being in my body and where I hold judgements about myself. It is hard on an emotional level, as well as a physical level, but I can see and feel a big difference in my body already, and know that it is healing on such a deep level.
After about 15 minutes of rest, I go to the treatment room outside the house where Adrika has been cooking round satchels of herbs in hot oil to make a paste to be pounded and then rubbed in to my skin by Annil and Somen. I have to admit, this is the most difficult thing for me to handle. The oil the first two days was really really hot and I was getting burned a little - nothing serious or even lasting, but painful nonetheless, and for some reason, this pain was also bringing the most difficult emotions with it. I thought I might have to quit the Kyrie, but after Jamsheer and Ramesh talked to Annil (thanks to Gerhard..India style communication), the oil was much cooler and I think I will survive after all.
Once I am finished with the Kyrie, I have to let the paste sit on my skin (and the oil in my hair & everywhere) for three hours before showering. I am sure that I will have that smell with me for the rest of my life!
I wrote before that I can't go outside during a big chunk of day, but there are exceptions if you're not in direct sunlight. I can't swim in the ocean, and only limited trips to the roof. Obviously, no practice, and the worst: no sleeping -except if I am REALLY tired, I can have a nap after lunch, which I do every day, because I am REALLY tired.
Everyone here is super supportive and very understanding, especially if I just need to sit in my room and be quite for a while. We all know the deal, and we give each other the respect and space to deal with the process without judgement and without making it a drama. Once again, I must mention my gratitude for all these experiences, and for the opportunity to really heal my body and my spirit.
These chances are rare and special. I know what a gift it is.
I wake up a little later than for practice (7am) and wash my face, feet & hands, brush teeth, take ayurvedic medicines & am ready to go. Lucky for me, it's just a few steps to the treatment room from my bedroom.
The only thing I wear during treatment is a piece of cloth hanging from (or tucked into) a string tied around my waist. This was an adjustment.
In the U.S., we're used to low lights, nice smelling oils, music & draping cloth. I am face down, up sitting or standing (that's right, standing in the altogether) on a tile floor covered by a palm-leaf mat in fluorescent lighting, right next to the kitchen, and the only music is the occasionally crackling loudspeaker from the temple across the way. This is not a spa.
I am receiving Marma treatment and Kyrie one right after the other. Jamsheer and Ramesh give me the Marma treatment massage and Annil, Somen and Adrika give me the Kyrie.
The marma treatment begins sitting. Oil is poured on the head, then rubbed in every which way (this is a real mess to comb out later). Each stroke has a specific direction and number of repetitions and they all are getting progressively more intense building to the purging day, which is Friday.
After they finish the head, I lay on my stomach and the full body work over begins. The most painful parts are the backs of my knees and my glutes. The common phrase around here is "when Ramesh gets out his thumbs..." I usually breathe deep into it, but oh my, oh my. This goes on & I flip like a pancake, back to sitting, then it finishes standing. I am learning a lot about being in my body and where I hold judgements about myself. It is hard on an emotional level, as well as a physical level, but I can see and feel a big difference in my body already, and know that it is healing on such a deep level.
After about 15 minutes of rest, I go to the treatment room outside the house where Adrika has been cooking round satchels of herbs in hot oil to make a paste to be pounded and then rubbed in to my skin by Annil and Somen. I have to admit, this is the most difficult thing for me to handle. The oil the first two days was really really hot and I was getting burned a little - nothing serious or even lasting, but painful nonetheless, and for some reason, this pain was also bringing the most difficult emotions with it. I thought I might have to quit the Kyrie, but after Jamsheer and Ramesh talked to Annil (thanks to Gerhard..India style communication), the oil was much cooler and I think I will survive after all.
Once I am finished with the Kyrie, I have to let the paste sit on my skin (and the oil in my hair & everywhere) for three hours before showering. I am sure that I will have that smell with me for the rest of my life!
I wrote before that I can't go outside during a big chunk of day, but there are exceptions if you're not in direct sunlight. I can't swim in the ocean, and only limited trips to the roof. Obviously, no practice, and the worst: no sleeping -except if I am REALLY tired, I can have a nap after lunch, which I do every day, because I am REALLY tired.
Everyone here is super supportive and very understanding, especially if I just need to sit in my room and be quite for a while. We all know the deal, and we give each other the respect and space to deal with the process without judgement and without making it a drama. Once again, I must mention my gratitude for all these experiences, and for the opportunity to really heal my body and my spirit.
These chances are rare and special. I know what a gift it is.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Sam and the Well
I'll have many things to say about treatment in future entries, but the funniest thing happened today, so treatment chronicles will just have to wait.
The doors here are kinda funny. Most don't have knobs or levers, they just have sliding locks on both sides, which one can put a padlock through to secure the space once on the desired side of the door. When you leave, you slide the bar on the outside of the door an attach a lock. When you come back, you unlock the padlock, come inside & repeat the process, or use the bolt.
Sam and Peter moved to the little white house that Gerhard and & I just vacated, and they're learning all the quirks of the house. One of the most interesting features of that house is that you still use the well outside the kitchen for drinking water (boiled, of course). The well room has a mini barn door halfway up the wall just large enough to lower a bucket down and bring it back up full of water.
Today, Peter left for practice and shut the door behind him as usual. What he forgot was that Sam was still inside the house sleeping. When it was time for Sam to go for treatment, he found himself locked in the house!
The windows all have wooden bars from top to bottom, so no escape that way, and all the other doors had locks with no keys. After much thinking, Sam realized only one way out: the well. He had to climb out the well window and scuffle around the edge of the well to finally make it to the outside of the house.
When he finally arrived and told us the story, I almost wet myself laughing so hard. Of course, the best moment was when Ramesh found out & in his usual way in times like this, laughed his head off & immediately told everyone around him (in Malayalam-the language spoken here) what had happened, laughing wildy the whole time.
Sam took it all in great stride (as did poor Peter, despite our relentless teasing) and we all had great fun imagining what the neighbors must have thought about the whole ordeal. If Sam is late tomorrow, we'll know where to find him.
Silly westerners...
The doors here are kinda funny. Most don't have knobs or levers, they just have sliding locks on both sides, which one can put a padlock through to secure the space once on the desired side of the door. When you leave, you slide the bar on the outside of the door an attach a lock. When you come back, you unlock the padlock, come inside & repeat the process, or use the bolt.
Sam and Peter moved to the little white house that Gerhard and & I just vacated, and they're learning all the quirks of the house. One of the most interesting features of that house is that you still use the well outside the kitchen for drinking water (boiled, of course). The well room has a mini barn door halfway up the wall just large enough to lower a bucket down and bring it back up full of water.
Today, Peter left for practice and shut the door behind him as usual. What he forgot was that Sam was still inside the house sleeping. When it was time for Sam to go for treatment, he found himself locked in the house!
The windows all have wooden bars from top to bottom, so no escape that way, and all the other doors had locks with no keys. After much thinking, Sam realized only one way out: the well. He had to climb out the well window and scuffle around the edge of the well to finally make it to the outside of the house.
When he finally arrived and told us the story, I almost wet myself laughing so hard. Of course, the best moment was when Ramesh found out & in his usual way in times like this, laughed his head off & immediately told everyone around him (in Malayalam-the language spoken here) what had happened, laughing wildy the whole time.
Sam took it all in great stride (as did poor Peter, despite our relentless teasing) and we all had great fun imagining what the neighbors must have thought about the whole ordeal. If Sam is late tomorrow, we'll know where to find him.
Silly westerners...
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
The End and the Beginning
Today marked the end of my training phase, and the end of the stay at the little white house.
I know, I said we wouldn't move again, but we did - to Lakshmiti's house, where Elise and Margarita are also staying. It is a good mix and Manuel stopped by as soon as he arrived, so I get the sense that we'll be a bit more social in the coming weeks, especially since I start treatment and that means no practice for me.
In Kalari, the healing side is just as important than the training side. The Gurukkal (Sherifka) is a master of working with the marma points and nadi channels to heal even deeply rooted physical (and mental/emotional) issues held in the body. There are various massages ranging from very gentle, to the deeper and more painful -also deeply healing treatments. Depending on what is to be achieved through treatment, there are times when the person must not train. This is the kind I'm getting to try to fix the migraines & a horseback riding injury from when I was 16.
Other treatments include: adhangal-manipulations, shirodhara-oil on the forehead (which began with kalari, and is now used widely in ayurveda), and kizhli (keeire) -which is herbs pressed into the skin. The type and length of treatment always depends on the needs of the individual.
So here's my understanding of what my treatment will look like-subject to change, of course:
I know, I said we wouldn't move again, but we did - to Lakshmiti's house, where Elise and Margarita are also staying. It is a good mix and Manuel stopped by as soon as he arrived, so I get the sense that we'll be a bit more social in the coming weeks, especially since I start treatment and that means no practice for me.
In Kalari, the healing side is just as important than the training side. The Gurukkal (Sherifka) is a master of working with the marma points and nadi channels to heal even deeply rooted physical (and mental/emotional) issues held in the body. There are various massages ranging from very gentle, to the deeper and more painful -also deeply healing treatments. Depending on what is to be achieved through treatment, there are times when the person must not train. This is the kind I'm getting to try to fix the migraines & a horseback riding injury from when I was 16.
Other treatments include: adhangal-manipulations, shirodhara-oil on the forehead (which began with kalari, and is now used widely in ayurveda), and kizhli (keeire) -which is herbs pressed into the skin. The type and length of treatment always depends on the needs of the individual.
So here's my understanding of what my treatment will look like-subject to change, of course:
- Morning Massage, not the oohhh feels sooo good kind, the ohmygod, I need to breathe deeper kind...(Yikes!)
- Resting
- No going outside the house between the hours of 11am & 5pm (Double YIKES!)
- No going up to the roof AT ALL...bummer- I think I'll fight them on this one!
- Nasyam oil treatment in the afternoon (oil up the nose & in the sinuses)
- More resting
- After 7 days of this I get to drink Castor Oil for purging- HOORAY!
- After one day of purging the whole thing starts again for 6 days, getting less and less intense until the last day
- Rest for a few days (I hope no more than 3-5)
- Practice for a few days
- Assist Gerhard in a workshop in Dubai
- COME HOME!
We'll see how it all goes... stay tuned.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
New Arrivals
Our group has blossomed to 10 with Manuel set to arrive back from traveling this week to make it 11. It's fun, but the car rides are really crowded and SUPER hot.
The New Crew:
Elise from San Fransisco~ Yup, another American here, yay!
Peter from Hamburg- a techie and a student of Gerhard's
Margarita-a student of Manuel's who is an avid horseback rider
Xenia + her friend Steve, from Australia and is meeting her after studying yoga for three weeks in the jungle outside of Goa (India- a bit north of here, famous for beaches & markets & the Bourne Identity movie)
Dagmar, Janet, Sam, Gerhard and Me
With all the new folks the one kalari just wasn't holding us all, so Sherifka took Gerhard and I to the newer kalari this morning. We arrived as the locals were wrapping up their practice, and WHAT A TREAT!
There was a group of about 12 boys ages 16-20 practicing together with two assistants whom I had not yet met. I was so humbled to be let in to watch as they ended their practice, which is not usually done.
Normally, a white woman with super blond hair would be a distraction to a group of boys this age in India. These young men were hardly fazed, and showed their deep respect for Kalari and for Sherifka by continuing on without losing focus, even as Gerhard (who looks like a giant here) and I with my practice clothes, looked on.
After the boys were dismissed, we began to practice with Sherifka and the two assistants. I felt a bit spoiled to be there at that time with just the two of us and the three of them. Each day, I learn so much and even more so when Sherifka leads the practice. I really connected to the lineage-the bigger picture of Kalari and how it is lived here.
Once again, I feel that I am so lucky to be a tiny part of it.
Me, Dagmar, Xenia & Janet inside the new Kalari (a different day)
The New Kalari
Friday, February 6, 2009
The Good Luck Driving School
Everyone who visits here (as far as I can tell) talks about the chaotic driving.
It's true; the whole thing seems like a big jumble of randomness and confusion. Cars driving on every side of the road, passing when there are giant busses coming head-on. Scooters, rickshaws and bikes weave in and out and around, all the horns beeping to somehow signal "hey, I'm making a move here, look out!".
I laughed out loud the 1st time I saw the car with "Good Luck Driving School" painted on the windows. I wondered if the good luck was for the poor fellow trying to learn to drive in the chaos, or for the rest of us on the road with an inexperienced driver on the loose.
In Kalari, the Shakti (feminine) form is great training for this: lots of movement-seeming random at first. Turns, weaves, lines of direction, and changes are all standard in each of the sequences. It is so hard to manage it all in the beginning. I sometimes feel like the poor guy in the Good Luck School...Good luck to you, just keep up and keep going, try not to crash!
What I have come to realize is the parallel in both Kalari and driving in India to the chaos of our lives. We are all trying to get somewhere, some of us on the same route, some of us in the opposite direction. Occasionally, we weave in and out and around each other. Sometimes we travel together, and rarely, we collide and have to make reparations. Everyone is doing their best to stay safe and to keep those around them safe, honking at each other when necessary, and smiling, waving and continuing on with it all.
It's true; the whole thing seems like a big jumble of randomness and confusion. Cars driving on every side of the road, passing when there are giant busses coming head-on. Scooters, rickshaws and bikes weave in and out and around, all the horns beeping to somehow signal "hey, I'm making a move here, look out!".
I laughed out loud the 1st time I saw the car with "Good Luck Driving School" painted on the windows. I wondered if the good luck was for the poor fellow trying to learn to drive in the chaos, or for the rest of us on the road with an inexperienced driver on the loose.
In Kalari, the Shakti (feminine) form is great training for this: lots of movement-seeming random at first. Turns, weaves, lines of direction, and changes are all standard in each of the sequences. It is so hard to manage it all in the beginning. I sometimes feel like the poor guy in the Good Luck School...Good luck to you, just keep up and keep going, try not to crash!
What I have come to realize is the parallel in both Kalari and driving in India to the chaos of our lives. We are all trying to get somewhere, some of us on the same route, some of us in the opposite direction. Occasionally, we weave in and out and around each other. Sometimes we travel together, and rarely, we collide and have to make reparations. Everyone is doing their best to stay safe and to keep those around them safe, honking at each other when necessary, and smiling, waving and continuing on with it all.
The Ever-Absent Traffic Police
Follow your Nose (or your stomach)
Headed to Practice
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Rhythm and Variations
I'm officially staying put in the little white house. This is a good news/bad news scenario. Good news: no more packing & hauling my stuff to a new place + it's quiet all night + I get to eat Lakshmiti's AWESOME food. Bad news: although it is quiet at night, we are very close to the temple & they start playing prayer music on a loudspeaker at 5am + if we moved, it would have been to Lakshmiti's house, which is super nice & right on the beach.
It is like that here, settling but not quite settled, finding a flow & then changing it a little.
I have been reading Swami Vivikenananda, he talks about how we are constantly shedding our current truth for a higher truth, and that it doesn't lessen the value of the previous truth to evolve to a new higher one.
Kalari practice is a good mirror of this idea. You'll do something a certain way for a long time and everyone will say 'yes, good' . Then a while later, they'll make a correction to something you never knew was incorrect. They wait until you have a context for the new paradigm. As a westerner, I am always wanting to know NOW, set roots down, settle into the rhythm & feel secure in the perceived awareness of the next step. Kalari, and the wisdom of the teachers here, is teaching me that the best thing you can do is the thing right in front of you- stay present, willing to make a mistake, willing to correct one without attachment to the past, but mainly keep on truckin'.
I'm gonna keep on truckin'
It is like that here, settling but not quite settled, finding a flow & then changing it a little.
I have been reading Swami Vivikenananda, he talks about how we are constantly shedding our current truth for a higher truth, and that it doesn't lessen the value of the previous truth to evolve to a new higher one.
Kalari practice is a good mirror of this idea. You'll do something a certain way for a long time and everyone will say 'yes, good' . Then a while later, they'll make a correction to something you never knew was incorrect. They wait until you have a context for the new paradigm. As a westerner, I am always wanting to know NOW, set roots down, settle into the rhythm & feel secure in the perceived awareness of the next step. Kalari, and the wisdom of the teachers here, is teaching me that the best thing you can do is the thing right in front of you- stay present, willing to make a mistake, willing to correct one without attachment to the past, but mainly keep on truckin'.
I'm gonna keep on truckin'
Monday, February 2, 2009
Meeknunu Beach
We went on an excursion to a beach a little further up the road and a lot more remote today. It was incredibly beautiful, old and for sure special, but I'll let Gerhard's pictures do the talking.
I spent some time with my feet in the warm waters of the ocean and sunlight on my face. I stood there receiving the deep transmission of the earth and the sun and the water and asking the questions in the deepest part of my heart.
There is magic here.
The Beach through the jungle
Sun transmission
The Commie Beach
I spent some time with my feet in the warm waters of the ocean and sunlight on my face. I stood there receiving the deep transmission of the earth and the sun and the water and asking the questions in the deepest part of my heart.
There is magic here.
The Beach through the jungle
Sun transmission
The Commie Beach
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Sunday Sunday
Sunday is always the toughest training day, and today was no different. I have been put in a group with Dagmar and Xenia, who both have been practicing much longer than me, and have both been to India to train before. Today I had some trouble with fatigue, so struggled to keep up.
What I am learning is that although it is for sure physically challenging, the days that I struggle the most are the days that I am mentally fatigued. I make silly mistakes, forget patterns that I know well, add in movements that just don’t exist, and I talk too much to try to “figure it out”. All of this leads to frustration, and holding on or ‘trying’ which is the kiss of death in the kalari. When there is thinking, there is not doing, and everything becomes 10 times more difficult.
It is learning to let go on a whole new level.
On another note, I continue to be deeply moved by Sherifka, and the skill he has for teaching. Tonight, we were chatting about a fellow student who has many many physical difficulties due to some severe injures sustained over a period of time. I was very curious to know his approach to the student: balancing the physical needs and limitations while also maintaining a sense of empowerment, so as not to discourage. His answer was that it is for students like that we teach in the first place, so finding the right balance is crucial.
Sherifka looks at what this student can do, and doesn't focus on what they can not. Some things he fixes with practice, and some will only heal with treatment. He says someone like me needs kalari a lot less than this other student, and that giving someone relief from pain, and making their life more easeful is the most satisfying thing he does in his life and work.
It seems so simple, but to watch him in action is such a beautiful gift. I feel as though I am learning how to teach all over again.
What I am learning is that although it is for sure physically challenging, the days that I struggle the most are the days that I am mentally fatigued. I make silly mistakes, forget patterns that I know well, add in movements that just don’t exist, and I talk too much to try to “figure it out”. All of this leads to frustration, and holding on or ‘trying’ which is the kiss of death in the kalari. When there is thinking, there is not doing, and everything becomes 10 times more difficult.
It is learning to let go on a whole new level.
On another note, I continue to be deeply moved by Sherifka, and the skill he has for teaching. Tonight, we were chatting about a fellow student who has many many physical difficulties due to some severe injures sustained over a period of time. I was very curious to know his approach to the student: balancing the physical needs and limitations while also maintaining a sense of empowerment, so as not to discourage. His answer was that it is for students like that we teach in the first place, so finding the right balance is crucial.
Sherifka looks at what this student can do, and doesn't focus on what they can not. Some things he fixes with practice, and some will only heal with treatment. He says someone like me needs kalari a lot less than this other student, and that giving someone relief from pain, and making their life more easeful is the most satisfying thing he does in his life and work.
It seems so simple, but to watch him in action is such a beautiful gift. I feel as though I am learning how to teach all over again.
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